I live in a zoo. Did you know that about me? Running amok in our home is a cat named Hamlet, a Chihuahua named Domino, a German Shep named Margot, and a Black Lab/Australian Shep mix named Coco. When the front door opens, giant hairballs escape and float in the breeze. To control this problem, it is necessary to vacuum, dust, Swiffer, and mop on a daily basis. Do we do that? Of course, not.
Don't misunderstand - I love my pets. I usually prefer their company to that of humans. I am a vegetarian. But the maintenance of having so many is overwhelming! Not only that, but there all these rules I have to follow, particularly with Hamlet. For instance:
1. I am not allowed to keep my blinds down. Hamlet wants them raised so he can see outside, and if they aren't raised, he will rattle and destroy them until they are. He especially likes to do this when I am sleeping. I have grown to loathe that rattling sound!
2. I am not allowed to keep my bedroom door closed. If I do, he will twist the doorknob until I let him in, or out. I have experimented with him on this, especially during the middle of the night, and he will rattle that knob for hours!
3. I am not allowed to keep the cat box where I wish. Having a cat box in your home is a nasty business to begin with, but the master of the pet should be able to determine where it's located and what sort of cat box it will be. I prefer a cat box with a lid, for obvious reasons. Hamlet feels otherwise. If the lid is on the box, the poop doesn't end up in the box. Thus, he wins. He also decided one day to start pooping in the formal dining room, instead of in his box in the bathroom. I suspect this is due to the proximity of Margot's favorite resting spot to the bathroom; she chases him around the house like mad, and he can't always get to where he wants to be if she is on guard. Anyway, you can guess where the cat box is now. We don't eat in there, anymore.
4. I can't get a good night's sleep. In addition to the aforementioned rattling and door knob twisting, there's the mischief, in general. He jumps on and off the bed, including on my head and knocks things over. But that is not the worst of it. I will be in a sound sleep, when suddenly I hear, "Yak! Blek!" This cat pukes more than any cat I have ever had! (he is actually Lindsay's cat) Cats get hairballs and they puke, fact of life, but my gosh, it is not something one wants to hear (or smell or step in) in their bedroom while sleeping.
5. Because the dogs will eat Hamlet's food, it has to be kept up high. For some reason, that designated place is my dresser. We have to keep a stool in front of the entrance to where the cat box is, or the dogs will, well.....you know. Margot will kill Coco (seriously) so Coco stays in a crate to protect her. I think Margot should be in a crate because she is the one terrorizing everyone, but Coco actually likes her crate now and wants to be in it.
6. I can't seem to ever have a clean house. Enough said.
So, would I trade my pets for a puke a poop free life, a good night's sleep, and the opportunity to eat something without pulling hair out of it? No freaking way! Do you see how adorable and cuddly he is? Worth it. :-)
