Word Vomit

For as long as I can remember, I have had dreams that my teeth are falling out. It happens under different circumstances, but I am always left freaking out that someone will notice and I need to get to the dentist as soon as possible. I had this dream analyzed once, and was told it means I say things I shouldn't say, that words fly out of my mouth that I regret speaking. I bought into this explanation because I am the first to admit that I have a big mouth. Rarely do I think something and keep it to myself, unless it's super personal.

I am trying to figure out the difference between forming an opinion about a person and outright judging them. If I witness something I find distasteful, of course I am going come to a conclusion in my head as to whether I feel it is right or wrong. I am a very outspoken and opinionated individual and it's just ingrained in me to want to discuss ideas and think about life.

I suppose the thing I have the most difficulty "holding in" is my need to correct people's grammar. I do it to everyone, even people I don't know. I do it in social networking and in real life. It just comes out of my mouth and I have no control over it. My teenage daughter speaks well and has a wide vocabulary and pretty much my entire family is formally educated, so I didn't grow up hearing words being mispronounced or did I read poor spelling. Even before I decided to major in English and Education in college, I loved English class and learning the rules of grammar. Anyway, my love for the King's English has become somewhat of a curse. Facebook is my biggest nemesis. I am 'friends' with a couple of teenagers who are the kids of some of my friends, and if I didn't know better, I would think someone from a foreign country was writing their posts. The mother of two of these kids says "oh, they're just kids" (she probably would have spelled it 'their') and it doesn't matter because it's just Facebook. Why doesn't it matter? You either know how to speak and write correctly, or you don't, and being correct shouldn't be limited to school. Am I judging this Mom because I think she isn't teaching her kids proper grammar? Or is it just my opinion? Even worse, she lets her underage (17) son drink beer, chew tobacco and drive without a license, and she allowed her 13 year old daughter to get her nose pierced. This ENRAGES me. I know it is none of my business. I know that I am not perfect and I know there are things people think I could do differently with my daughter. (You wouldn't believe how many people are against home schooling!) But I just can't help myself! When the nose piercing incident happened, I said to my friend: "What is WRONG with you? What kind of image do you want your daughter to project?" I later apologized to her and explained I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut. She has known me since the 6th grade, so she knows this about me, but I could tell she was taken aback. I wouldn't have said anything had I not known the person long, but I suppose because we confide in each other often and were pretty close at one time, I felt I was within my 'rights' to express my opinion.

In retrospect, I realize I was judging her. The dictionary defines 'judge' as:

1.

a public officer authorized to hear and decide cases in a court of law; a magistrate charged with the administration of justice.

2.

a person appointed to decide in any competition, contest, or matter at issue; authorized arbiter: the judges of a beauty contest.

3.

a person qualified to pass a critical judgment: a good judge of horses.

4.

an administrative head of Israel in the period between the death of Joshua and the accession to the throne by Saul.

5.

(especially in rural areas) a county official with supervisory duties, often employed part-time or on an honorary basis.

Obviously, I am not a paid official,  or authorized administrative head. Does this mean I should never share my opinion as to what is right or wrong? There are opinions, and there are things that are down right factual. For example, letting your underage child drink alcohol and drive with no license is illegal, and it is not just my opinion that it shouldn't be done. On the other hand, I am aware it's my opinion that you shouldn't let a girl who has barely reached her teen years get her nose pierced. I guess what I am saying is, just because I think it, doesn't mean I have to verbalize it. This is something I really need to work on. It's just so hard, though, when you witness something you feel is morally reprehensible, to keep your mouth shut - at least it is for me.