Awake

Nighttime is the Devil's playground
Where I am expected to rest
But I find no peace
Instead my mind is mush
And it wanders
To places and problems
And unsolvable puzzles that don't exist in daytime
But chase me as I lie there
Watching the clock
The numbers stand still
When you want them to run
I wake up and get up and life travels through my head like old movies
Imaginary caffeine fuel my thoughts
Blood red eyes beg for sleep
But it never comes
Light peeks through the curtains
Life is calling

Love Letter

You once said I was all you wanted and now you won't answer my calls. You are far away and have most likely found suitable company. But here's the thing. Neither time nor distance has made it go away for me. Believe me, I have tried. I have tried to forget you. But loving you forever without your loving me back is just something I have to live with, I guess. I don't want it. I don't want the burden of all this feeling without reciprocation. It's killing me. If I knew of some sort of voodoo or medicine man who could help me I would surely sell what is left of my soul to rid myself of this misery. This has never happened to me before. I have been in relationships that have ended and I moved on. I've been divorced and bore that man's child, but it was nothing like this. It's just the way I operate. I suppose I never really loved anyone before you, even though I thought I did, and I am discovering this is how I am. I know I can't have you. I also know I am ruined for anyone else. But you should know that I am out here, and that this kind of love exists, for you may not experience it again. I would have to say it's rare, and I know we belong together, even though you don't know it.  You have affected my life. This must be my punishment for something I have done, although I'm not sure what that something is. All I can do is keep drying my tears, and swallowing down the lump that is my heart, always overflowing.