Alexander Supertramp

I watched the movie, "Into The Wild" again yesterday. If you haven't seen it, it's about a college graduate who takes off to live in the wilderness of Alaska. Prior to leaving, he donates his life savings to charity, abandons his vehicle, and ends up lighting a match to what little money he did bring with him. He also cut up his social security card and identification. He renamed himself Alexander Supertramp.

Although my current goal is to save money, get a car, and a new place for my daughter and me, I can certainly see the appeal of Alex's way of life. I spend so much time trying to do the right thing, and I have realized the right things have been defined by others, not myself. I envy Alex's need for anonymity and lack of rules. When you break down life that way, the little things are what make you happy - a beautiful sunset, food in your belly, and the occasional company of a good friend. Alex didn't need other people to make him happy. During his adventure he encountered some good people in the oddest of places, but he didn't need them; they were simply a component of a moment that made him happy. He could just walk away from it all. I don't consider that behavior sociopathic in this sense, you know - someone who has no feelings for others. Rather, I consider him to be truly self-actualized. He is at peace within himself, which is something I long to be.

If I had the means, I would just take off with my child. I would head to New England, then maybe Canada, and eventually Europe. Alex didn't have the means, but he survived. He ate plants (the wrong ones, at times) and hitchhiked. I would love to have an RV and just get the hell out of Dodge. I would educate my child by taking her to all the places we read about in books. Disappearing without a trace is so attractive to me. All the people who have judged me, lied to me, let me down and told me what I am supposed to do could just always wonder....whatever happened to her?