Done

It's 1:35am and I am mad at the world. I am not always this way, but right now I am. I am so sick of hurting all the time. I am so sick of not being able to do anything. Screw being able to have pleasure, I can't even do the every day things that need doing. It's not fair. It's not fair to me and it's not fair to my child. I just know I am being punished for something. I've asked God to forgive me for whatever I have done, but the pain is still here. I am on frigging Morphine for fuck's sake! Why am I still in so much pain? And how long can this go on? Usually when someone is in this much pain, they either die or get better. But the pain just keeps getting worse and I'm still here.