Right this moment, more than anything, I want to get in my car, drive around, and play music at a deafening level. The windows will be down, regardless of what the weather may be. My hair will whip across my face. I will sing along, and I will be alone. I will think about things and clear my head, and drive by old haunts, and places I used to live. Certain songs will bring out emotion in me, and I will deal with them on my own. I may remember a certain time in my life, whether good or bad, and react accordingly. I can cry and no one will see. I can laugh out loud and not have to explain to anyone what's so funny.
It may seem like nothing, but this is one of the many things I can't do anymore. I realize it's not up there with being able to work or climb a flight of stairs, but it's something that I loved that has been taken away from me. I have no feeling in my feet so I have been ordered not to drive. And even though I have owned a vehicle since the day I turned 16 (all with excellent sound systems), I do not currently own a car. What would be the point? It puts me in a good mood to drive and sing.
Mind you, today is a bad day. Today is the kind of day I think about stuff like this. On other days I count my blessings, knowing I could be worse off than I am. But not today. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
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